


Damaged, But Not Beyond Repair

by AceOnIce



Series: WINGO fics [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Alec Lightwood, Injury Recovery, M/M, Malec Discord Server WINGO, Permanent Injury, Prosthesis, Raven Reyes (The 100) - Freeform, References to Depression, Serious Injuries, Supportive Magnus Bane, Wingfic, supportive everyone else lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24988543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: When Alec sustains a life-threatening injury after being ambushed by Circle members, he has no choice but to undergo surgery that removes one of his wings. Luckily for Alec, he has a supportive husband and friends who refuse to let him go through it alone.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: WINGO fics [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701433
Comments: 12
Kudos: 148
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020, Wingo Summer





	Damaged, But Not Beyond Repair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladyshmelton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyshmelton/gifts).



> For the wingo square: unusual wings.  
> Written for ladyshmelton 's prompt: 
> 
> Alec has wings, but one is severely damaged somehow (fight gone bad?) and is not longer functional. No runes or magic from Magnus can heal it. He has to make the decision to either live with it as a constant reminder that he can't fly like Nephilim should, or have it removed and learn to live without it (weight compensation, how he moves in general, etc.). And if he gets rid of one, does he decide to just get rid of both since he believes he'll never fly again??  
> Bonus points if you throw in some modern technology and do like they do in the with Marvel Universe with Falcon and his metal wings
> 
> I loved this prompt so much, the story got away from me a little, but I loved it. Also thanks to tothestarswriting and lyssa87 for helping me brainstorm what kind of injury might be permanent in a universe with so much magic at is disposal.

Patrols are supposed to be easy and, for the most part, they are.

They’re safer than missions. _Usually._

So Alec is blindsided when an average patrol with Jace goes quickly sideways. They’re headed back to the institute as the few clouds in the sky begin to turn various colors while the sun reaches the horizon. It’s still bright out. Safe.

Safe until a portal opens to their right. Alec and Jace both react without hesitation, drawing their Seraph blades in perfect harmony. Alec knows it won’t be enough when five Circle members emerge from the portal, their wings spread wide, blades in hand. A warlock with green magic spinning around her hands steps through last, closing the portal behind her. 

“You get the Circle members, I’ll get the warlock,” Alec says lowly, feeling his own wings spread behind him in a display of blatant aggression. 

“Got it.” 

Then they’re moving- the world reduced to a blur of blades and wings and fiery magic ripping around them. Alec barrels around the Circle members, headed towards the warlock. Most of them are focused on Jace who is attacking ruthlessly, runes activated, eyes glowing. Only one of them notices Alec. 

Alec meets the blade with his own, shoving the man backwards and spinning to duck under a ball of fire that’s been hurtled at him. A brief scuffle, blades clanging against each other, before Alec manages to bury his blade deep in the other man’s thigh. The circle member screams and falls. Alec yanks back his Seraph blade, pivoting to face the warlock.

He strikes at her to break her concentration before she can send another flaming ball towards Jace. 

She sneers at him, sending up a wall of magic when he attempts to slice forward. He stumbles back from the forcefield, but as long as her attention is on him, Jace has a chance with the other Circle members. There are benefits to being the best swordsman the Shadow World has ever seen.

“Why are you working with Circle members?” Alec asks between his teeth, carefully surveying the wall of transparent green magic for a weak spot. 

“I know who you are,” she spits, “Alexander Lightwood. Married to a warlock _.”_

Alec narrows his eyes, still uncomprehending of why she would side with the people who believe she’s better dead than alive- unless they’re able to exploit her. He doesn’t get the chance to ask again because the wall of magic is coming down as she refocuses, sending another ball of fire at him. He jumps out of the way, realizing she's only using relatively simple magic.

Magnus is, of course, one of the most powerful warlocks alive, but even a young and untrained warlock should know more than fireballs and shields. He swings at her side and she jumps out of the way, but not before the blade breaks the surface of her skin. It's only a small scratch, but she reacts like he’s plunged the blade into her chest, stumbling back, pressing her hands to the wound. She doesn’t heal it and Alec wonders if she knows how. 

“You don’t have to work with them,” he says softly, trying to give her a way out. He can only guess that she’s young and scared, desperate. “I can help you.” 

“Go to Edom,” she seethes. 

At the same time, a current of fear floods Alec's parabatai bond. He hears Jace’s voice, shouting a warning.

Alec spins around, but he’s not fast enough. The Circle member he thought he’d put out of commission had managed to get to his feet and attack Alec from behind. He feels the Seraph blade tear through the skin of his wing, slicing through the bones. It stops halfway down his wing, the pain of it excruciating. 

Alec knows there are tears on his face even as he lunges at the Circle member, shoving his blade into the man’s stomach. He crumples, all the color draining from his face. 

Alec pulls in quick breaths through his teeth, yanking back his blade and turning to the warlock. He’s a soldier. He knows how to fight when he’s injured. He’s fully prepared to do what he must to kill the warlock, as she refuses to work with him, but she’s stepping through a portal when he turns around. 

He lets her leave, focusing on Jace as he kills the only remaining Circle member. Jace’s eyes fly up to him. “Shit, that looks bad, let me see.” 

Alec nods because Jace looks largely uninjured. Alec's wing aches as he turns. Alec feels the familiar slight burning sensation of Jace drawing a rune on his back, the opening of his shirt that allows for the wings being pulled back enough for Jace to draw an Iratze. 

The pain remains just as sharp and overwhelming. “Jace?” 

“It’s not working,” is the panicked response he gets. He feels Jace drawing another healing rune, but Alec fumbles in his pocket for his phone. His hands shake as he considers the implications of runes being ineffective against his injury. 

He finds Magnus’ contact and the moment he explains the situation, a familiar blue magic is opening a portal into the street next to them. Magnus steps out and his face contorts as he notices Alec’s torn wing hanging uselessly over his shoulder. 

“What happened?” He asks, voice hard as he joins Jace at Alec’s back. 

Jace explains the Circle members and warlock ambushing them as Magnus pushes magic into Alec's back. He can feel the familiar tingle of Magnus' magic spreading, easing the pain. Still, his wing remains torn, hanging limply. 

Magnus hisses, “There’s some sort of poison, they must have coated their blades, it’s blocking my magic.” 

“It’s probably the same reason the runes won’t work, it’s counteracting the angelic magic that makes them effective,” Jace muses. 

Alec feels his stomach tighten. “Okay, so how do we fix it?” 

“The poison is spreading,” Magnus says instead of answering, magic rushing through Alec’s wing. “I can slow it down but if we don’t do something soon, it’s going to be too late.” 

“We need to get to the infirmary,” Jace states, a slight waver to his voice. “Can you make us a portal?” 

Seconds later and Alec is being ushered through a portal into the Institute’s infirmary. Magnus makes him lay on one of the beds while Jace finds a healer. 

“We’re going to stop it,” Magnus says with cool certainty. His face shows the concern he’s trying to hide. Alec fumbles out a hand to grab Magnus’, grounding himself with the touch even as his thoughts spiral. Magnus clutches him back just as tightly. 

“I’ll be fine,” Alec promises, hoping and praying his words aren’t a lie. There has to be something they can do. 

A healer gives him a brief and careful examination and comes to the same conclusion as Magnus. She tells them there's only one thing they can do. A suggestion that has Alec’s blood running cold. 

“No, no,” he mutters, feeling his good wing flap slightly at his back. He pushes himself so he's sitting up. “There has to be something else.” 

“What if we can figure out the poison? There has to be some sort of antidote,” Jace asks the healer, looking as upset as Alec feels. 

She shakes her head, expression tight. “There’s not enough time. Even with Magnus' magic, I’d say we have an hour before it reaches Alec's heart." She aims her next words at Alec, "We have to do this now if you want to survive.” 

Alec presses his face into his hand, body tight with tension. His heart has sunken in his chest, leaving behind an empty cavity of dread. “I can’t- I can’t.” 

“I’ll give you a moment to discuss it, but we’ll start prepping for surgery,” she leaves quickly, all too eager to be away from the tense situation. 

“Alexander,” Magnus says softly, grasping his hand tighter. “I can’t imagine how you must feel right now, but you need the surgery. Please don’t make me lose you- not so soon.” 

His words tug at Alec’s already aching heart. He sniffs hard, holding back the tears of frustration, of helplessness, of fear. 

He knows he has to go through with it, knows that not getting the surgery would mean letting down everyone he loves. Would mean leaving them alone. He won’t do that.

It still hurts. 

Alec curls forward and presses his face to Magnus’ shoulder.

“You’re going to be fine, alright?” Jace’s voice is unusually soft, understanding just how much this is hurting Alec. Even without the parabatai bond, he’d know what this means. The surgery will consist of amputating his infected wing. 

Alec will never fly again. He’ll be permanently deformed. The other shadowhunters will pity him- at best. He could lose all the respect he’s worked so hard to earn as the Institute Head. He won’t be surprised if the Clave swings by in the near future to demote him for some made up reason. How can a deformed shadowhunter possibly lead an Institute? 

“Right,” Alec finally responds. His tone is tight, but his voice doesn’t break. He swallows back the tears. “Yeah, let’s do this.” 

Magnus and Jace walk him to the surgery room where the healer details the surgery. Alec stares at the wall and leans on Magnus, tuning out the words. He knows enough about what’s going to happen. 

When she finishes, he’s instructed to take off his shirt and lay face down on the hospital bed so she has access to his back. Magnus and Jace are asked to leave. 

Jace gives him a few words of encouragement before reluctantly leaving the room. Magnus presses a kiss to his forehead, eyeing the IV that will be used to sedate him. 

“Let me?” Magnus asks quietly, bringing up a hand, magic waving slowly around his fingers. “Less undesirable side-effects.” 

Alec nods because he knows it will make Magnus feel better. Magnus brushes his fingers over Alec’s forehead, pressing a curl back behind his ear and pushing the magic into Alec. Almost instantly, the shadowhunter’s eyes begin to droop. He’s almost asleep when Magnus presses a kiss to his forehead and murmurs a soft, “I love you.” 

Then he’s drifting to sleep, heavy with the knowledge that when he wakes up, something so vitally important will be gone forever. 

The surgery proceeds without complication. When Alec wakes up, he’s missing a wing.

His reaction is humiliating, but only his parabatai and husband are there to witness his breakdown. He sobs- ugly, loud sobs- into Magnus’ jacket, hands bunched in the fabric. Jace’s hand remains a steady comfort on his shoulder. Magnus holds him tightly. 

When he stops crying, he asks Magnus to take him home. He doesn’t want to sleep in the itchy infirmary beds. He doesn’t want anyone else to see him, though he’s sure the rumors will spread like wildfire. 

Before they leave, Jace tightens his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

Alec raises an eyebrow, too tired to do anything more. 

Jace shakes his head, guilt in his eyes. “I should have seen the attack before it happened. I should have been able to handle the Circle members.” 

Alec exhales hard, tugging Jace into a hug. “There were five of them. Plus the warlock. We were outnumbered. I don’t blame you.” 

“I’m going to fix it, I swear.” 

“This isn’t something that can be fixed.” Alec smiles sadly at him as he steps away, in the direction of Magnus, who is attempting to look like he’s not listening in. Attempting to grant them some form of privacy without leaving Alec’s side. 

Jace is stubborn though. “I know it won’t be the same, but I talked to Raven Reyes while you were in surgery. She’s going to make you a new wing.” 

Alec tenses. He hadn’t even considered a prosthetic. Because Jace is right, it won’t be the same.

But, perhaps, if it’s good enough- it might make up for this new weakness. If he’s able to fly with it, able to use it to his advantage... If it will even out his skewed balance, heavier on his right side where that wing remains... It's worth considering. 

So he nods. He tells Jace to have Raven, the Institute’s head mechanic, keep working on it. Then he goes home and spends the rest of the day in bed, lying on his left side with no wing to make it more difficult. He cries himself to sleep. 

Alec doesn’t handle the loss well. 

He avoids the Institute, terrified of running into judgmental or pitying shadowhunters in his new state. He throws himself into the paperwork he can do from Magnus’ loft. He only leaves the bed to migrate to the couch for meals of to work from there instead. He falls asleep on the couch twice in two days, hunched over his work tablet. 

Magnus offers to stay with him, but Alec doesn’t want his miserable state to bring anyone else down so he convinces Magnus to continue his work and keep his social obligations. It gives Alec time alone to mourn his missing limb. 

Alec allows himself to drown in self-pity and work and, one particularly bad night, alcohol. He knows he’s worrying his husband, especially when Magnus had returned home to find him drunk out of his mind, but he can’t find the energy to do better. 

He tells his family he’s fine, that he needs to be alone. For a while they listen. 

After a week of avoiding everyone and sleeping more than he knows is healthy, Jace and Isabelle show up at the loft with no warning. They let themselves in with Jace’s spare key, earning a glare from Alec. 

“Don’t look at us like that,” Isabelle reprimands him, kneeling on the couch cushion beside him. “We’re worried about you.” 

“I’m fine,” he snaps, standing, heading for the drink cart. He’s all too aware of his missing wing next to Jace and Izzy. At least with Magnus, it’s not being constantly flaunted in his face. 

“You look like you haven’t showered in a week,” Jace states as Alec knocks back a shot of whiskey. He’s not trying to get drunk so much as blur his mind just a little, to keep his hands busy, to relax. 

“And you smell like it too,” Isabelle adds under her breath. “I’m surprised Magnus isn’t forcing you to shower.” 

Alec purses his lips. Magnus _had_ coerced him into soothing baths twice since his surgery, but he’s not about to tell them that. “Is there a reason you’re here?” 

“Yes!” Isabelle leaps up, coming to his side to press her hands to his shoulders and steer him towards his bedroom. “Take a shower and get changed. We’re going to the Institute. Raven has your new wing ready.” 

Alec falls silent. He takes the shower Isabelle instructed because he doesn’t want to deal with what comes next yet. He’s surprised by how adverse he is to a new wing. Logically, he knows it’s the best option, that he’s lucky they have the technology for it. Emotionally, he just wants to grieve. He just wants his old wing back. 

When he steps out of the shower, he gets dressed quickly, but his gaze still lingers on the mirror. He can’t help but stare at his good wing- and the space where his other wing should be. 

He reaches up to stroke through the feathers on his wing before quickly dropping his hands. If he continues like this, he’ll be crying again and the last thing he wants to do is inspire questions or more pity from his siblings. 

So Alec turns away from the mirror, forces down his emotions and joins them in the living room. “Do we have to do this now?” 

“Yes,” Isabelle says adamantly. “You can’t avoid the Institute forever. This will be good for you.” 

Alec bites back his response, looking to Jace for any help. 

His parabatai shrugs helplessly. “At least come see what Raven’s designed.” 

“Fine,” he grumbles, grabbing a pen and paper to jot down a note for Magnus. He’s sure his husband will be glad to know Alec is finally leaving the apartment again. 

They walk to the Institute with their glamours in place. Alec doesn’t mind walking amongst the mundanes so much now. They can’t see his defect. 

Jace and Isabelle try to make conversation as they walk, but Alec isn’t in the mood. He mostly listens to their gossip as they fill him in on what he’s missed with his week away. 

When they get to the Institute, Alec’s steps falter. He stares up at the old church with dread curling in his stomach. Two shadowhunters are standing post at the door and he sees emotions flicker over their faces at the sight of him before they attempt to make their expressions blank. It’s enough to have Alec deliberating running home. 

He knows people will react poorly. He’s _broken_ now. He has yet another thing that separates him from every other Nephilim in existence. His missing wing is not only a reminder of his different-ness, it’s a signal that he was weak, that he had allowed himself to be so badly injured. Only adamas can cut through their wings and that wouldn’t go unnoticed. They'll all see the proof of how he failed to protect himself against other Nephilim. 

His stomach flips and his head swims and before he knows it, he's hyperventilating. He spins his wedding ring around his finger, trying to ground himself with the cool metal. Jace grasps his arm, feeding him quiet words of support. 

Alec closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. He can’t spend his life avoiding this. He can’t hide out in the loft with only Magnus and, occasionally, his siblings for company. As much as he might want to. 

So, with his heart pounding a mile a minute in his chest, he straightens his back, puts on his best poker face, and leads his siblings into the Institute. 

People stare. It’s to be expected. Some of them look up and glance away quickly, but some gazes linger. Alec grits his jaw and pretends not to notice. 

He passes a small group and overhears a nasal whisper. “I heard Raziel took his wing because he married a warlock.” 

“I heard it’s because he sides with downworlders over the Clave,” another whisper responds, their tone making it clear that they think the so-called punishment fits the crime. 

Alec goes impossibly more tense. He hadn’t even considered that some more traditional, or hateful, shadowhunters might believe that losing his wing was a punishment by the Angel himself. Nephilim wings are nearly as precious as their runes; a clear symbol of angelic heritage. And now he's missing half of that proof of angelic blessing- of course some people might see it as justice, as punishment. 

Isabelle doesn’t stand for the whispers, calling out the shadowhunters in question and demanding they put in transfer requests if they’re not willing to work with the Institute’s improved attitudes towards Downworlders. 

Jace chimes in, putting them on ichor duty for blatant disrespect. Normally these would be Alec’s lines. He knows this. He knows he’s making himself look weak in front of his shadowhunters, but he can’t get past the emotions in his head. He never looks to see who had been behind the whispers. He’s sure he’ll receive their transfer requests soon enough. 

Jace and Isabelle rejoin him, walking on either side of him, sandwiching him between them. He feels his cheeks flame as he realizes just how protective they’re being. It’s wrong and uncomfortable. Alec is supposed to protect them. That’s how it’s always been. He’s not supposed to need protecting. 

He charges ahead to the armory, situated beside the weapons room, carefully avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

Raven is alone in the armory and she barely glances at the place where Alec’s wing should be before meeting his eyes. She has her own pair of large violet wings, but one of her legs is in an elegant brace, completely paralyzed after she was bit by a venomous demon on a mission. She hadn't been able to apply a rune until long after the venom had spread and permanently damaged her nerves. Even so, she’d recovered and built herself a brace. Something almost unheard of in the Shadow World. 

It was rare for a shadowhunter to sustain major, permanent, injury without dying in the process. And when it did happen, it usually led to the Nephilim in question giving up, moving to a desk job and living in shame. More often than not, they killed themselves soon after. Raven had changed that and Alec had to respect her for it- even if he hated the reason for their meeting today.

“Mr. Lightwood, I’m sorry about your wing. Jace has been helping me design a new one, I'm guessing that’s why you’re here?” 

There’s not pity or judgement in her eyes and it’s refreshing. Alec still feels uncertain over the prospect of a prosthetic wing, but he nods. “Call me Alec, please. When you say Jace has been helping...?” 

“He’s mostly been talking my ear off about how worried he is,” Raven says over her shoulder as she retrieves a large metal contraption from one of the back shelves. She sets it on the table and unrolls it. “He did help with the sizing.” 

The prosthesis in front of him is impressive. True to Raven's word, the sizing looks like it will match his right wing. The metal is structured with attention to the complex bone structure and joints of Nephilim wings. Alec lifts up one side and sees the folds in the metal that had allowed Raven to roll it up. He thinks it will work so the wing folds behind him like they’re meant to do. 

“I’ve never designed a wing before so we might need to make a couple adjustments before you go diving off of any rooftops, but the science is sound. Do you want to try it on?” 

Alec runs his fingers over the top of the solid limb. There’s a broad strap that hangs in front of the wing, likely how it will be worn. Despite all of his reservations, he’s intrigued. 

“Yeah.” 

Jace holds the wing while Raven shows how to secure the buckles. The large strap goes over his torso like his quiver does- an oddly familiar sensation. There are several smaller straps that buckle horizontally around his abdomen. They don’t impair his mobility and when the prosthetic is secured, the weight is dispersed so it feels more like a natural wing. 

“For movement, we have this,” Raven picks up a small device with a communication rune drawn on it. She secures it to the top of his ear so the flat part presses against the base of his skull. “It will transmit your brainwaves so you can move the wing. It may be a little different, but once you get used to it you’ll be able to react as you normally would.” 

“Give it a try,” Isabelle encourages, looking over the device and set up like she wants to take it all apart and put it back together to learn how it works. 

Alec bites his lip and gives a hesitant flap of his wings. The metal wing works in unison with his natural one, giving a gentle flap. It moves easily and soundlessly. “Impressive.” 

“Again, don’t jump off any buildings without a contingency plan, but it should hold. You can try it out and come back with any flaws you find.” 

Alec nods, intimidated at the idea of walking through the institute with the brilliant silver wing on display. It’s definitely going to earn him more stares. He’d given his shadowhunters time for the rumors to spread so they’d known he would turn up without a wing the next time they saw him. Showing up with an artificial wing though? That would be a shock. Especially with the way it stands out in sharp distinction from his black feathered wing. 

“Is there something we could put on it? To make it less... flashy?” He considers that Magnus might be immensely offended by the question alone, but the shiny wing will be bad for hunting. 

Before Raven can respond, Jace is stepping forward, pulling out his stele. “Actually, Clary already came up with a solution for that.” 

He draws a rune on the metallic surface of the wing- a rune Alec has never seen before- and the silver turns to black. The hard edges reshape to form wing-like points. Under his fingers, the wing is still distinctly metal, but it _looks_ like a normal wing.

“Clary made that rune?” The _for me_ goes unsaid, but he can see Jace understands. 

“Yeah, we all wanted to help however we could.” 

Alec nods, swallowing the lump that threatens to rise in his throat. He focuses on Raven who’s already distracted herself with filling out some sort of sheet, designing some kind of new contraption that Alec is sure will come in handy for the Institute. “Thank you.” 

She gives him an honest smile. “Just doing my job. I’m glad I could help though. I have some experience with this kind of thing.” 

Alec glances at the brace. He makes a mental note to give Raven a raise and ensure any future requests she makes get instantly approved. “Keep up the good work.” 

“Yes sir,” she gives a mock salute before refocusing. 

“You ready big brother?” Isabelle’s navy wings twitch behind her, betraying her concern. 

Alec nods, feeling the feathers twitch in his own natural wing. A second late the feathers in the prosthetic twitch. _Interesting._

He squares his shoulders, preparing himself for the glances and the stares and the whispering. “You guys can get back to work, I need to find Clary.” He sees the way Jace and Izzy glance at each other. He rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine, go.” 

He uses his leader of the Institute voice, making Isabelle scoff even as she tugs him into a hug. “Let me know if you need anything.” 

“You sure you’re good?” Jace double checks. “I can walk you to Clary?” 

“Go work, you can see your girlfriend later.” 

Jace narrows his eyes, assessing, but Alec’s desperation has given way to determination. Jace must see that, must feel it through the bond, because he gives a small nod and turns to head towards the Ops center. “Clary is training.” 

Alec doesn’t give the gawkers any attention as he passes through the Institute halls, head held high. He’s sure there’s a flush on his cheeks, but _one thing at a time._

Sure enough, Alec finds Clary in the training room, sparring with a new recruit. Alec leans against the wall and watches as the little redhead takes down her much larger opponent with a few carefully thought out maneuvers. He has to admit she’s made great strides in improvement since coming to the Institute. 

He hears her give the guy some pointers before she turns to face him. Her smile is on the edge of too soft, but he allows it because of the rune. “Alec! How are you?” 

“Better. Thank you.” 

She looks uncomfortable at being praised by him, tugging at her hair and glancing away. “I wanted to do something and I thought it might make it easier. I mean, obviously nothing about this is easy, but I thought maybe it would help? Just a little?” 

“It does,” he says with finality, cutting off her rambling. “And it might save my life on future missions so thank you.” 

Clary nods, relaxing her shoulders and looking up at him. “Of course, Alec.” 

He reaches out to ruffle hair, making her scowl fondly in response. “Never thought your ability to make your own runes would come in so handy.” 

“What?” She gapes at him until she realizes he’s joking. “Whatever, don’t you have a wing to test out?” 

“I do actually.” He gives her one last grateful nod before heading for his office. He might as well catch up on a bit of work before heading home. 

Despite Raven’s advice not to jump off any buildings any time soon, Alec finds himself standing on the ledge on Magnus’ balcony a few hours later. He’s been trying out the wing since he put it on, seeing how sensitive it is and how it responds to instruction. And he has his husband right behind him, ready to catch him with magic if the wing doesn’t work as intended. 

“You don’t have to do this right now,” Magnus reminds him, catching onto Alec’s hesitance. “It’s been a long day. This can wait.” 

Alec appreciates the sentiment but he shakes his head. “No, I need to do this. I need to know if I can trust it. If if needs adjustments.” 

“I understand. And I’m here if you fall, always.” 

“I know.” He hopes his voice conveys just how grateful he is. He looks down at the long drop in front of him. Heights have never been an issue before, why would they be when you can fly- but he suddenly finds it daunting. If the wing doesn’t work he could plummet- no. If the wing doesn’t work, Magnus will catch him. 

Trusting in that, _trusting in Magnus_ , Alec takes a step off the ledge and drops into a free fall. His wings flap behind him and for a few seconds he just falls, feeling magic gathering in the air around him, ready to support him, but then his wings sync up and he begins to lift. A grin crosses his face as he flies back up past the ledge, does a flip in the air and comes to land beside Magnus. 

Magnus is grinning back at him and Alec promptly covers that grin with a kiss. Magnus blinks up at him. “What was that for?” 

“For being you,” Alec says, rubbing at the back of his neck. His wings twitch behind him and he finally feels as if he’s not completely and irreparably broken. He still has phantom pains where his real wing had been detached. He still misses it beyond words. He knows this new wing will be a learning curve. But it’s _better.“_ You’ve saved my life so many times and you- you just always make it better. I know I’ve been a bit difficult the last week-” 

“For good reason,” Magnus intercedes, ready to argue. 

Alec simply nods his agreement, reaching out to hold one of Magnus’ hands between his own. “But you were there the whole time and that- it just means a lot to me.” 

He gets a soft smile in response. “I will always be there for you Alexander.” 

Alec ducks forward to press another kiss to his husband’s lips. “Thank you. I’m going to test the wing some more.” 

Magnus rolls his eyes with a fond expression on his face, seeing through Alec’s thin excuse to his pure excitement. “Enjoy your flying.” 

“I’m going to,” Alec says, thinking of the time he’d spent in the last week, believing he would never fly again. He brushes his lips over Magnus’ cheek one last time before diving off the roof again and catching the first thermal he can find. He's not so scared of falling anymore. 


End file.
